So I’m taking a page from the Book of Ladyhistory and playing Oregon Trail with 2016 Presidential Candidates

By: vivian on sábado, julho 18, 2015

deadpresidents:

ladyhistory:

peachesnsunshine:

First up, the Republicans. There are 16 of these fuckers, and so I’m having to do about 4 rounds with 4 each, plus me.

Since the Republicans want to be all “lol first!!!!1!”, I set a grueling pace. I don’t buy much food either, about 800 lbs, so that I can stock up on ammunition because ‘MURICA FUCK YEAH KILL ALL THE THINGS LEAVE NOTHING FOR NO ONE GUNS AND BULLETS BAM BANG. Filling rations because HUNTING FUCK YEAH HUNT EVERYTHING. Rest only when our collective health is “very poor”, because to do otherwise is to be a weak ass Democrat.

ROUND ONE: Donald Trump, Bobby Jindal, Ben Carson, and Jeb Bush (affectionately known as Jebbers). Early on, po’ widdle Dawnuld gets exhausted, but rebounds. However, at the Green or Snake River crossing, I learned that Donald, Bobby, and Jebbers cannot swim. Because they drowned. Then Ben died of exhaustion. I succumbed to a snake bite ONLY AFTER typhoid fever and a broken arm.

I APPROVE OF THIS ADVENTURE BECAUSE THIS IS HILARIOUS

I also approve.

I third the motion.

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